Day 254: Emptying the Jar Again

I counted the dollars in the jar for April, but it doesn't seem right...only 10! I have been sick a lot this month, but that is pretty bad. At this rate it is costing me about six dollars every time I go to the gym. I think this is the lowest month so far, but I'm hopeful for the up and coming months. I am in a wedding tomorrow as a bridesmaid, and of course we ordered our dresses way ahead of time to make sure we got them in time. After trying mine on a couple weeks ago I realized that it no longer fit very well. I have actually lost about ten pounds, but it looks like more because I've been gaining a lot of muscle. As a result I didn't work out as much, in hopes that the dress would start to fit better because I couldn't afford to get it altered again. I hate myself for doing it, but I gained five pounds back to get the dress to fit better. It worked, though, and I'll just have to step it up after the wedding again.

One of the biggest factors of weight gain, that a lot of people ignore, is stress. I realized that being around certain people was stressing me out. Growing up means making grown up choices, even when you don't want to. I had to cut back on time spent with people that made me feel like a loser, because it was giving me a bad attitude towards my life in general. I would eat cookies at one in the morning because, well, I deserve it. Nobody else feels the way I do. Right? No. That's how a teenager reacts, but when an adult acts that way they gain weight. They feel bad about themselves, they eat to feel better, lose sleep from the sugar added late at night, feel tired the next day, lose self-respect for themselves and eat junk food. I could do this when I was a teenager and not gain a pound, but can't do it any more. So here is my list of things to do when I'm feeling stressed/depressed to avoid junk food:

• Drink water with Mio or other flavorings
• Do a puzzle, challenges your mind and makes you feel good when you complete it
• Go for a walk
• Sing, either on Rock Band or while playing guitar/piano
• Call a friend
• Online window shopping
• Keep a healthy snack bin in your fridge stocked with string cheese, carrots, apples, etc
• Don't buy chips!

I'm still working on that last one. They recently came out with rice krispie oreos, too, and I'm addicted. I've also tried to switch to baked chips as much as possible. Eventually I will get back to juicing too...