Day 131: The Best Movies You've Never Heard Of: Part 4 - Christmas Edition!

We've all seen the classic Home Alone, as well as The Grinch, but this Christmas I tried to expand my horizons by watching movies that I had never seen, and most of them, had never heard of. I put them in the order I watched them, some of them you might recognize, but I can guarantee there's at least one you've never heard of.

Jack Frost: I'm sure a lot of people have heard of this one, but I had never seen it. I watched it on Thanksgiving, because I wasn't sure if it was a Christmas movie, or just a winter movie. It is your typical 90's dramedy. Kid loses one of his parents, parent comes back as a magical creature, parent gets a second chance to make things right. There's a reason this theme is popular in movies, it usually doesn't fail to touch the heart. Also, it has Michael Keaton and Hanson songs. Welcome to the 90's, speaking of which...

 

All I Want For Christmas: I know there are a lot of movies out there with this title, this is the one that features a very young Thora Birch. Another tried and true movie recipe that would make Mrs. Doubtfire proud. Two kids plot to ask Santa to have their parents get back together, but have to take matters into their own hands, surprise. This is a good family one, not a lot of thought, and everything works out in the end.

I'll Be Home For Christmas: This is the movie that Jonathon Taylor Thomas did shortly after leaving Home Improvement. He has to learn the true meaning of Christmas after being estranged from his family after (surprise) his mom died. His girlfriend, who happens to be Jessica Biel in this movie, is so fed up with him she leaves him in the middle of Wisconsin in the snow. Ouch. Of course we all know how this ends, no spoiler alert needed, that's what makes Christmas movies predictable, they usually work out in the end.

Carried Away: Once you get past the hokey acting, this movie is actually pretty good. A young man comes home for the holidays and finds his grandma has been put away in a nursing home by his dad. So he steals her away to live with him in LA, figuring she will have a better life there. This one basically has the same plot as Rain Man, except that grandma is full of spunk and life that makes you smile.

The Heart of Christmas: This one is based on the true events of Dax Shephard, a young boy who died of leukemia at the age of three. Make sure you have a box of tissues. It is told through a blog site discovered by someone who has lost the true meaning of family, which happens to be Candace Cameron in one of the first roles I've seen her in since Full House. Since the boy probably won't make it to Christmas, they decided to celebrate in October. You will cry the last five minutes, and if you don't, you are a machine.

I plan to watch a couple more nontraditional Christmas movies, but these were the ones I have watched so far, and I think my favorite, as in the one that I will be watching next year would probably be The Heart of Christmas and I'll Be Home For Christmas. I can't decide, but I like comedy as well as drama. What is your favorite nontraditional Christmas movie?

Day 126: The Best and the Worst Christmas Songs You Will Ever Hear

This Christmas was different, because this year for the first time ever I worked all day. I was actually extremely tired from everything that had happened at work, but luckily everyone was in a good mood when I got there. That helped me cheer up a little. Since it's the last day that it's acceptable in America to listen to Christmas music, I decided to give my top ten list for my favorite, as well as least favorite, Christmas songs. I have never liked Christmas music too much, but there are a handful that I like. First, here is the list of songs that I never want to hear again:

10: Jingle Bells - I know this isn't an official Christmas song, think it's actually Thanksgiving, but people always sing it at Christmas. Part of the reason I don't like this one, though, is because I sing it all the time at work, all three verses, and then have to hear it in the stores after work when I'm shopping as well as on the radio on the way home.

9: What Child is This? - This is another one I think I'm just too tired of listening to, it has been overplayed to the point that I just don't care for it. I think it's a very pretty song, but not for me.

8: You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch - I like the jazzy Christmas songs, but for some reason I can't stand this one. I think maybe it's the voice, just can't stand it. It would maybe be a good instrumental.

7: White Christmas - I like The Drifters version, actually, but can't stand the Bing Crosby version. I know it's classic, but so overplayed. It's a great song, but when you have to hear it everywhere it gets old fast.

6: Winter Wonderland - This is yet another Christmas/winter song that is too overplayed. Also, have you ever walked through the snow? It's not a wonderland, it's a pain in the neck. Your toes freeze, your pants get wrecked from the salt on the sidewalks, and you run the risk of falling and breaking something.

5: Little Drummer Boy - I can't stand this song, especially the one version by...actually I don't know who it's by, it's the one they play every year though. The one with several voices in harmony singing. I can't really explain why I hate this song, it's just...annoying.

4: We Wish You a Merry Christmas - This is a good song...if you only sing it through once. Everybody that sings it usually wants to sing it over and over again, adding more verses. What is figgy pudding anyways?

3: Twelve Days of Christmas - This song is so long, and so annoying. I have heard that each gift represents something in the Catholic church, but in today's world it just sounds like a silly song. It's also annoying when people ask when the twelve days of Christmas are.If you don't know, you shouldn't be celebrating.

2: Happy Holiday - Ick. I will break my fingers changing the station when this song comes on. It is a very PC friendly song for today's society, so I will give them points for that. Of course later in the song he makes reference to Santa Claus, but oh well.

1: It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year - Why is Christmas considered to be the most wonderful time of the year? I think it's the worst. Before you call me a scrooge, hear me out. Everybody complains about being broke, people get mad if you spend more/less money on them than they spent on you, people are expected to use up vacation galore, rent is due, bills are due (it's the end of the month), and it's freezing cold. I could name the good stuff too, which there is plenty, but I can think of other times of the year where the pros outweigh the cons. For me the most wonderful time of the year is early summer, not at a time when the days are only eight hours long.

Ok, that turned into a little rant. I'm not a complete scrooge, I am actually embracing Christmas a little better this year. So here are my favorite Christmas songs. In case you can't tell, I go for the nontraditional usually.

10: Last Christmas - This song has been redone a couple times, can't decide which version I like best, but it is a catchy tune.

9: Mele Kalikimaka - This Hawaiian Christmas song is always just so much fun to sing. It's also the only Bing Crosby song that I can stand to listen to. It's also very short, no unneeded verses, just a fun little novelty song.

8: Hark the Herald Angels Sing - For some reason this Christmas hymn really sticks out in my mind. I love it, the message it has, the melody, everything about it.

7: All I Want for Christmas Is You - I know a lot of people are sick of this one, but I have always liked it. I like most of Mariah Carey's Christmas songs, such as Santa Claus is Coming to Town and Oh Santa. She just has a really good voice.

6: Christmas Lights - This is a newer one, released by Coldplay last year, that is really pretty. It starts out slow with a lite rock feel, then moves into a waltz pattern that sweeps me away every time.

5: Please Come Home for Christmas - I love blues, and this is one of the few Christmas songs that brings that blues rock feel that's just right. I like The Eagles version best, the free form of Don Henley's vocals over a steady blues rhythm.

4: Christmas Without You - This is another newer one, released by OneRepublic last year, it starts out with a simple piano melody, then the drums and bass bring in a steady blues rhythm. Add a little electric guitar, and it makes this modern Christmas song one of the best blues songs for the season. "Only one thing could kill me/Christmas without you."

3: Wizards in Winter - Although there's no words in this one, the title says it all. If you listen closely you can hear a little of the Sugarplum Fairy in there too.

2: What Christmas Means To Me - This song, sung by Stevie Wonder, is one of my favorites. He brings just the right amount of jazz that will get you off your feet dancing around the Christmas tree.

1: Jingle Bell Rock - This is without a doubt my favorite Christmas song. I like Bobby Helms version best, but also like the new version released by Rascal Flatts. And the version in Mean Girls. Who am I kidding, Justin Bieber could probably come out with a version of it and I would love it. It's just about having a good time and rocking out while doing it.

So there's my list of the best and worst. This is just my opinion, what is your favorite Christmas song? What is your least favorite Christmas song?

Day 125: My Favorite Christmas Movies

This the first year that I have had to work Christmas as well as Christmas Eve, which has kind of taken a little bit away from the holiday spirit. It is the only holiday I worked all year, though, so I guess I can be grateful for that. I have been doing all sorts of things to get into the Christmas spirit, because my free time is very limited. Part of that is watching Christmas movies. I decided to make a list of my favorite Christmas movies. I was going to make a Christmas song one too, but realized I don't like that much Christmas music, so I have to think harder for that one. Anyways, here is my top ten list for Christmas movies:

10: Elf - I have a love/hate relationship with this movie every year. I like it, but can't watch it more than once a year, otherwise it loses its appeal.

9: Scrooged - I have actually only seen this movie once, but I loved it! Bill Murray has always been a favorite actor of mine and he does great in this modern adaptation of A Christmas Carol.

8: The Santa Clause - This movie grows on me every time I watch it, the first time I saw it I hated it. Now I love watching it every year.

7: How the Grinch Stole Christmas - I apologize to all the purists, but I really like the live action version. I watch it every year and, like Elf, only once a year.

6: Love Actually - There is a lot going on in this movie, but it really is a feel good movie about love and the Christmas season.

5: A Charlie Brown Christmas - Must watch every year. I own a VHS copy and try to catch it on tv too when it's on. It's also so short that it's easy to sit down and watch during the busy times of the season.

4: Home Alone - I love this movie, and it's one I grew up with so I always watch it. I actually really like the 2nd one too, but there is something about this one that really gives people that holiday spirit.

3: The Family Stone - This movie didn't get nearly as much praise as it's worth. The story basically follows a young woman meeting her boyfriend's family for the first time. They hate her, of course, which makes this dysfunctional family Christmas movie funny as well as heartwarming.

2: It's a Wonderful Life - I know this movie is overrated, but I actually really like it, despite all that. I've only seen it once, about six months ago. Yep, watched it in the middle of summer. This movie made me want to set up my tree and go shopping though by the end. You wouldn't think a movie about a suicidal man would be so heartwarming.

1: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - I could watch this movie a million times. If you haven't guessed from my lists I love dark comedy. This isn't exactly a dark comedy, but it displays exactly what Christmas is like, not all that sappy stuff that comes from a lot of the holiday movies out there. This movie is real from start to finish, well maybe a little off the wall, but definitely how most people experience Christmas.

So there it is, my list of favorites. Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas, I have to go to bed soon, to get up early, clean the snow off my car, and go to work. Christmas song list to come...

Day 124: Not a Creature Was Stirring

Wow! It has been way too long since my last post. There has been so much going on, which includes nearly getting hit by a drunk driver, breaking my chair/pants in the same day (I'm not that fat...), and, most recently, seeing a mouse in my apartment. I've always heard that mice are always around, in the walls, maybe in your basement, but there's only a problem if you start to see them. Kind of the same theory I use with spiders. It was just last Saturday night, I had just finished a wine and cheese party, which turned into just me and my friend, who said she would help me host it, sitting around eating ourselves silly and watching hokey 80's tv shows. With all that cheese a mouse was bound to show up I guess.

The "party" ended at 8:00 when my friend said she had to go home, so I ended up doing a bunch of other stuff, such as going out shopping and going to my first synchronized Christmas light show. If you don't know what they are, look it up on youtube, they are really cool. I got home and decided to relax with a healthy dose of Netflix. Around 1:00am I noticed a movement on my dining room floor. I thought maybe it was a spider or centipede, but it was way too big. It was a mouse! I've never really seen a mouse in my apartment so I had no idea what to do. I was barefoot, and couldn't bring myself to smash it with my boot, thinking of the aftermath and how gross it would be. Instead I let him run off behind my freezer, and spent the rest of the night freaking out, putting my feet up and not letting my blankets touch the floor. No sign of the mouse yet, but I have two snap traps and two glue traps. One of those is bound to get him. More on that later..

I have been trying to lose weight ever since I graduated college. I didn't get the freshman fifteen, I got the senior sixty. Yep, I have gained sixty pounds since college, not exactly the easiest thing to admit. I have gained over sixty pounds and at least 8 pants sizes. I have tried many things, joining a gym, buying exercise video games, juicing, and one time eating nothing but vegetables for a whole week. By the way, that last one is not a good idea, my stomach was plotting against me by the end of the week. This was just last Friday, I was going back to my office to relax, sat down on my chair, and then fell forward. The metal washer holding the screws in place had bent! Talk about a hit to the ego. I was so embarrassed I just put some boxes on top of it and rolled it into the corner. Later that same day my zipper went off the track, and so I couldn't zip my pants. This of course, happened at lunch. All day I was self conscious, trying to pull my shirt over it and trying to find a safety pin, with no success. I know I said this last year to myself, but I really need to get back on track, and soon!

This last story is about how all the stuff above doesn't matter. Something that happens in a split second can make you feel humbled and grateful for everything you have. I was heading home after getting myself dinner from a local fast food establishment, which had left me really mad because the lady at the counter handed me everything so quick, didn't wait for me, then proceeded to set my bag on top of my car, mind you it's only about 5 degrees outside. So I was already in a fairly bad mood.

I was waiting to turn left onto a busy street, with a guy next to me turning left too. I've never liked these kind of turn lanes, especially when it's ice out, always afraid the person next to me is going to pull a farmer's turn and run me off the road. The light turned green, and the guy next to me floored it and sped down the street as fast as his car would take him on the ice. I've seen a lot of crazy drivers, so thought nothing of it. He slowed down a bit, and I passed him. This is where I believe my guardian angel intervened. There is no way there wasn't divine intervention. The guy sped past me again, and for a split second I thought about speeding up to get past him, it's what we Minnesotaans do best, mess with other's heads, and I was already in a bad mood so why not cut someone else off to make myself feel better. Instead I thought, wow, well if he wants to be first, whatever...then he made a wide turn, but he was going at least 50, and there was no intersection there. He was going so fast that when he slammed his brakes he spun around twice and then went backwards over the median into the oncoming traffic lane. Luckily no one was coming, so no one got hurt, but if he would have turned twenty feet sooner, or if I would have sped up, I would not have been able to stop on the ice and snow to prevent myself from hitting him.

In that moment I said a prayer, and then called the police to report him. Whether this guy was drinking or not, I don't know, but it definitely got my attention. I may be heavy and my apartment may suck, but I have it better than probably 75% of the population. That is something to be grateful for.

Day 99: Just Like A Dorm Hallway

Lately I've been trying to save money, which means a lot of boring nights at home not doing much of anything. I got the chance to go Frisbee golfing today though, and then afterwards was able to do a little Christmas shopping. I'm actually almost done and it's not even officially December yet! When I got home I ate dinner and then a wave of exhaustion hit me like a dump truck. Next thing I know I'm laying down on my couch watching a movie that eventually lulled me to sleep. I won't say which one, it was a documentary, but the talking in documentaries, tone of voice and everything, helps me relax sometimes.
I woke to the sounds of children playing in the hallway. This isn't abnormal noise for my apartment, but since it was so late I was confused as to what was going on. My neighbor must have moved out, and a new one must have moved in (I didn't recognize either person in the hallway), because there was furniture all throughout the hallway. After a little while, I heard this exchange:

Tenant 1: Hey! You! Do you have keys for the storage room?

Tenant 2: What?

Tenant 1: We need to get into the storage room upstairs...

Tenant 1's kid: Yea, our keys are locked in there

Tenant 2: Well, no, my keys don't get me in there, you should have separate keys for your apartment though.

Tenant 1: Yea, I do, they are on the floor in there, we were putting stuff in there and I accidentally left my keys on the floor of the storage room.

Tenant 2: I don't have a key, you should try calling management, that would probably be best. Or a locksmith

Tenant 1: We did, they want to charge us $60 for a new key. $60!

Tenant 2: Well there probably are others that have a key, but I don't

Tenant 1: There are! Every locker in that storage room had a lock on it. We just can't find anyone with a key.

I was sitting on my couch, fairly far away from my door when this exchange happened. Further proof that the walls in this apartment are made of paper mache. You would think someone with a key would have heard them and wanted to help out. If I would have had a key I probably would have. I decided to go to the grocery store, since I was out of ginger ale and my stomach has been bothering me a lot lately. As I was leaving one of the kids apologized for the noise. I've noticed that the kids in this apartment building have pretty good manners.

When I got back a truck was pulling up with a trailer attached. In the trailer was a man standing up, just standing there while the truck rolled into the parking lot. Just when I thought my night couldn't get any more surreal. I looked towards one of the doors and there was furniture strewn all the way out the door. They started loading up the furniture, which I thought was kind of weird, since if they were moving out they would have had to be out by noon. This means their furniture was sitting outside their door for almost twelve hours.

Disclaimer: I did not have all the facts, but I can only deduce from what I heard and saw that this person was trying to move out, and had to sit with her furniture while waiting for a moving truck/trailer to show up. At first I thought maybe she locked herself out of her apartment too, but that would be pretty hard to do since you need a key to lock the apartment. Plus, I saw the kid going in there shortly before I left. And even if they lost their keys, they could always lock the door from the inside. Oh well, just another crazy Saturday night over here. Nothing special. The only thing that made it different was that there were no cops.

Day 96: Moving Day - Take 2

This post is a little late, mainly because I just got all my furniture back together. As I posted in a previous blog, my neighbors have a "No Entry" sign on their door, saying their apartment is unfit for human occupancy. A week later we all received a notice to move all of our furniture a foot away from the wall and strip our bedsheets. They were going to spray the place for bedbugs, which they tried to say was something that they normally do twice a year. I have never been in a place that had a problem with bedbugs. I can almost guarantee it's the neighbors. So I sent out an SOS to facebook for anyone, anyone at all, that could help me move furniture. I have a lot of furniture! I only received one response for help from none other than my mom.

She came over that night and helped me pull my couch out, and then pull all of my dvds out of the china cabinet so that could be more easily moved. Then I had to unplug the tv and everything else and move that towards the couch. When we were done it looked as if I had just moved in, minus the boxes. My bedroom got the same treatment, although I'm lucky it's hardwood floors because I was able to just slide the bookcase across the floor without emptying the shelves. My computer was pretty much unusable though, hence the late posts. I had to beg for help moving everything back, too, because I got no response back the second time around other than people wondering why I was moving furniture. In my mind if a friend says, "I need help," you help first, ask questions later.

The loneliness still gets to me sometimes, everybody is going into hibernation mode, which I'm sure is no short trip. I've actually been watching a lot of movies. Ever since I started juicing I've been getting sick every once in awhile. The other day I ended up in urgent care with symptoms of the stomach flu. I doubt the juices are entirely to blame, but it is a little inconvenient.

Since I always tell everyone my job is always good for a story (I work with dementia patients), I will tell one. Today I was doing a mini celebration/discussion group on Thanksgivakkuh. Basically, Thanksgiving and Hanukkah land on the same day, which hasn't happened ever and will probably never happen again, or at least another 79,000 years. In the past when I have done a Hanukkah celebration I had a lot of people not wanting to come, claiming that they weren't Jewish so they didn't want to partake in that group, even if it was just a discussion. This year was significantly different. Nobody expressed not wanting to partake for lack of religion, and most were eager to hear about this "jubilee year" festival.

It's amazing how, because they fall on the same day, these holidays can bring people together. It also got me to thinking how someone Jewish must feel when they are forced to watch yet another Christmas movie, or hear a lecture in school about the holiday season. I've always believed in the belief that all religions are different, not the widely accepted belief that all religions are wrong, except mine. There's a lot of talk about religious tolerance these days, how people shove religion down other's throats, which I have never tried to do. If asked about what I believe I will tell you, I'm not going to be afraid of offending anyone, because it's my beliefs, not theirs. It seems like so many people are ashamed to say that they are Christian, for fear of retribution from a society that perceives us as "bible thumpers." Back to my previous statement about Jewish holidays, I think that people should be more tolerant of different festivals going on around them. This is why, even I have just one person of a certain faith, I strive to celebrate or honor all the holidays that are represented. It's the least I can do since I will be singing Christmas carols for the next four weeks for them.

Day 86: It's On!

After living here for almost three months I am ready to move! I was watching tv earlier today, while doing some housework, when I got a knock on my door. I asked who it was, and the person said they were my downstairs neighbor. I have never met this person, so I kept my phone within reach in case I needed to make a call to the police. I opened the door just a crack, wishing that I had one of those chains across the door. As soon as I opened the door he said, "Do you have to walk around so heavy?" I was taken back, since I had hardly been walking around my apartment much today, and I don't consider myself to be a heavy walker. A million responses came to my head, many of them just as rude as his proposed question, but instead I took the high road. I stated that I don't think I walk heavy, and had been sitting on my couch watching tv for the last hour or so. He then proceeded to say, "Well, then there must be a ghost walking around up here, because it's so loud, I can hear every step downstairs. Especially last night, and most nights, after 10:30 at night." I could see I wasn't going to get anywhere by arguing with this guy, nor did I want to start a feud with a  neighbor that had the potential to make my life a living hell. So, instead of telling him off, and that I can walk around my apartment at any time I want, I apologized and told him I would try to be more mindful of my walking.

This is the kind of Mickey Mouse stuff that makes me want to move so bad. I have noisy neighbors, but they aren't noisy on purpose. It's just that apartment walls aren't made very thick or soundproof. It's like living in a big house, you are going to hear what's going on beyond the walls and ceilings. At least once I have my own place I won't have to worry about being heavyfooted or staying up until (God fobid) 10:30! He's gong to have to deal with it tomorrow, because the apartment building has asked everyone to move their furniture a foot away from the wall to spray for bugs. I don't even want people coming in here, but now I have to try to find a way to move all of this furniture. I'm not too worried about most of it, but some of it is very heavy, such as bookshelves and china cabinets, so hopefully I can find someone to help me. If my neighbor comes and complains to me about me moving this stuff, though, I'm going to go to the office myself and file a harassment charge, because I felt very bullied by this person. Rather than trying to work things out, he came roaring up to my door, taking out his frustrations on a situation that isn't my fault. Work with me, not against me.

On the positive side, so this isn't just a rant, I have started a budget for myself, and am trying best I can to follow it. My goal was to put away $1000 every month, so far I've only done this once, and this month isn't looking too good either. It's mainly doctor bills that got me so far in debt. If I can just stay healthy enough to not have to go to the doctor I can move out of here in (hopefully) six months. That is the goal for starting to look, sometime in March/April. If I get out of here by July I will be so happy. I will not be renewing my lease, however, I am not impressed with management or the neighbors I have had to deal with. It makes it feel like I've lived here for a year. I can't even remember what it was like living at my old place anymore.

My favorite holiday is coming up, Thanksgiving, and I'm learning to appreciate the little things. Rather than going out and buying stuff all the time, I'm taking time to enjoy the stuff that I have bought that has sat on my shelf for years unused. I have at least fifty books that I have never read. I have at least ten unopened dvds. I have started playing a game with my cds, where I pick out a couple random ones I haven't listened to in awhile and playing them in my car. If I listen to it, and no longer like it, I try to sell or donate it. I've also tried connecting with my family more. I've tried with my friends, even if I don't get a response it's nice to send a message or just say hi.

Day 82: Trouble in the 'Hood

This has been one of the longest weeks (mentally). I just found out today that I'm going to a conference next Monday, though, so I have the option of taking this Saturday off. I might do that, otherwise I have a six day week next week. I'm considering just going back to regular Monday through Friday scheduling, this is getting confusing.

I got home today, feeling much more tired than usual, and walked up the stairs to my apartment. I saw a notice on my neighbor's door. At first I thought it was an eviction notice, it was not. It was a notice from the Police and Fire Department stating that the unit was unfit to live in, with the words "No Entry" written in big letters. Part of me really wants to know why it's unfit to live in, because if it's bugs or mice who's to say they won't get in my apartment. Part of me doesn't want to know, though, and just live blindly with whatever is going on beyond the foot of wall separating me from them. I swear someone just moved in there too.

I must have bad luck with neighbors, because last week three cops showed up knocking on the door on the other side of me. I know the people in the apartments on either side of me, so it makes me wonder what is going on while I'm not here. If someone got evicted I would imagine there would be lots of yelling and screaming. I don't know what's going on. I just have to keep my eyes on the prize of moving out and, hopefully, buying a nice house/townhome.

Day 80: Life Changes, Sometimes We Stand Still

A lot of things have been changing in my life over the last couple months. The move was a big step, I knew that would change a lot of things. I was responsible for all the bills, no reminder other than my ipod. I knew that my brother and I would probably not be as close either, as he is a newlywed. He once told me that couples don't hang out with single people. I'm starting to realize why...but I never expected this change to happen so fast.

All my friends are in relationships, which is hard sometimes, but I usually am good at not letting it get to me too much. Anyone who has ever been the third wheel of the group knows exactly what I'm talking about. It sucks when you go out to dinner and the waitress goes around the table asking who is with who, to split the check, and then you have to announce that you are alone. Luckily I've been close to the friends in my group, so I am able to voice some of these concerns and talk through them. Lately though I feel like everybody wants to take off the training wheels and leave them in the ditch.

I have struggled with friendships my whole life, having been diagnosed with Asperger's disease, which really made it hard to make, much less keep, friends. I never had any friends in grade school, I had a friend that stole money from me in junior high, friends in high school that barely lasted through graduation, and friends in college that gradually grew into distant acquaintances on facebook. So when my brother introduced me into his circle of friends I was grateful, finally I had found some people I could relate to and get along with. These are the longest friendships I have had.

I'm not going to go into specifics, but I have felt very avoided over the last couple months. I don't even know if that's a word, but neglected feels too harsh. I guess ignored, but unintentionally, maybe. I went from the shy girl that couldn't make friends and didn't really care to have any, to someone who was hanging out almost every week, making plans, and building relationships. Then everything stopped. Right after I moved I noticed people stopped coming around, much less communicating. After trying to hang out a couple times, and failing, I thought maybe everyone was busy. Then I would find out that people were hanging out without me, or talking amongst themselves, but excluding me.

I've been going into panic mode the last couple weeks, I have no idea why no one will talk to me, or I guess why no one wants to talk to me. I am having flashbacks to high school when I would hear everyone talking about the awesome weekend they had, but when I would go over to ask about it, they would ignore me. I guess I might have to start over at square one, not sure where else to go from here. I might even try a change of scenery, anything to get over this sick feeling of being excluded and rejected.

I know from my post it might look like my friends aren't really friends, but at one time we were so close that there wasn't a second thought as to whether we were hanging out or not. Every Saturday and/or Sunday we would meet up somewhere, saying no wasn't an option. There were absolutely no secrets because everybody talked about everything. Now I'm lucky if I can get a hello. I've also been wondering if these are one sided friendships lately. Lately I've been the one that always initiates conversation and says hello. No one ever does that with me. Maybe none of them want to be friends with me but don't have the heart to tell me.

By the way, if any of you (people mentioned in post) are reading this, please don't take offense. I'm not mad, I'm just confused. If anybody reading this has been in this position and has some advice, or just encouragement, feel free to reply to this thread. I could use all the advice/encouragement I can stand.

I chose the title for this post because that's what life feels like when we are resistant to change. I like to think about my life 20 years from now and ask the following question: If my life was like this 20 years from now would I be satisfied? Most of us would say no, so why be resistant to the change that is inevitable. I know most friendships don't last more than four or five years on average, and if they do you most likely have made a friend for life. So don't be afraid of change, I'm embracing it a lot these days.

Day 76: How Did You Get My Number?

Over the course of the last few days I have had terrible insomnia. I can't get to bed early, which is nothing new, but then I wake up way too early and can't fall back asleep. Tuesday night was one of the worst nights for trying to sleep apparently. I tossed and turned for hours, finally getting to sleep sometime around 3 in the morning. Recently I bought a cell phone, so it was my second day adjusting to my new alarm. When it went off, I snoozed it because it seemed a little dark outside and it felt too comfortable in my bed. I later learned it wasn't my alarm...

Around 7:30 that morning I received a missed call from an unknown number, but I thought it was my alarm. I looked at my phone after my alarm went off and read the time. That's weird, why would my alarm go off so early? All of a sudden I heard some loud banging, like the sound of furniture being moved and handled not so carefully. Who would do such a thing as move furniture loudly at 7 in the morning? I decided I wasn't getting any more sleep and dragged myself out of bed to get ready for work. I had to get up in an hour anyways, so another hour after this wake up call would have just made me more tired.

After getting ready I laid down on my bed and played on my nook, just to get a little down time before heading out the door, relax a little. That's when the neighbor's dog started howling. Constantly. This went on for a good half hour at least, so I figured it wasn't good for my mental health to sit in my apartment, getting more and more agitated as the morning went on. To add to my misery my birds had chose this moment to squawk their brains out, and I still had a blanket over them. You should have heard them when I pulled the blanket off to feed them, it was like a high pitched car alarm.

I left for work, deciding that my annoyance level was so bad I needed to remove myself from the apartment before it affected my day too much. When you work in healthcare, especially mental health, you have to make sure to take care of your own mental health before anyone else's. I kept thinking about that missed phone call, deciding on my break to google it, it just looked so familiar. I found out why: it was the number for the city police and fire department! I was kind of scared at this point, there must have been an emergency in my building that morning, why else would they call. So I called the number, all the while playing dumb that it was a missed call and I had NO idea who I was calling. They didn't give me any details, but apparently they had called everyone in that building because there was an incident that morning. They were calling me to make sure I stayed indoors to keep safe. What if I had been on my way to work? I don't even want to think about what was going on, but that must have been what all that banging upstairs was.

The police are actually out here a lot, I don't know if that makes me feel more or less safe. I guess it means they respond quickly. I remember when I lived up the street from where I am now, I had to call the police a couple times and they were always out there in minutes. It makes me feel safe because they must patrol this area regularly, but also a little unsafe because they must have a reason for patrolling this area. Oh well, only nine more months to go...

Day 73: I Still Hate Cell Phones

Warning: This is a rant. If I don't get my frustrations out on paper, then it gets built up inside of me and comes out in the form of screaming at the television when the sound isn't working or throwing my keys on the floor because they refuse to hang the right way on their hook. Harmless, but should be avoided. If you do not like rants, do not read any further. I am grateful for what I have in my life, but, like I said, just need to get this out of my system.

About a month ago my cell phone plan changed, and with it came more data, because this is the future of how people spend their free time with their friends. Using data on their phones to look at unrelated, unimportant data on social networking sites. But I digress...

I tried ordering one from Amazon, only to have them come in the middle of the day trying to deliver. Of course it needed a signature, so they came back again the next day, around 4:30, and I answered my phone asking him if I had any other options for getting the package delivered because I don't get home until later in the day. He said to sign the delivery notice and he would leave it with the office the next day. When I got home there was no slip. I decided to leave work a little early to try to catch the delivery guy the next day, only to have him not show up. I called UPS and they said that they did three delivery attempts and, since I was unable to sign for it, it was being sent back to the seller. After looking online I discovered that only two delivery attempts had been made before being sent back. That night, after UPS left my building claiming they left a slip, they logged an action at 9:21pm: package being sent back to shipper. After three frustrating phone calls I finally got my money back. So I headed into the stores today, since online shopping was frustrating me beyond belief...

First I headed to T-Mobile. I told them the phones I was considering, and they told me that, because I was not an authorized user (I'm on a family plan), that I could not purchase a phone without that person's permission. They said it was to protect everybody from accessing my account, but if I walk in ready to pay top dollar for a phone I would have thought it wouldn't matter. Needless to say, thanked the person, and walked out. I decided Best Buy might have a deal. Nope. They said they had nothing for T-Mobile except for some no-contract phones that I wasn't interested in. So I then journeyed to Target. The person told me the same thing as Best Buy, but they have something else called Bright Spot, where it's a no contract phone, but it works if you put your SIM card in. They had none in stock, and referred me to a different Target.

By this point I was frustrated, fed up, but really wanted that phone. Luckily the store wasn't very far away. I went straight back to electronics, and tried pulling it off the shelf. No luck, it was locked. Three employees were all standing around at the kiosk discussing some sort of store policies and ignoring the flood of customers that were milling about in their department. Finally one of them asked if I needed any help, and I told him that I wanted to buy a cell phone. He unlocked it, and then handed it to one of the other ladies, and told her to ring me up. She kept talking, and talking, holding the cell phone that I wanted and ignoring me for what seemed like forever (ok, it was probably only 20 seconds at best). She finally told the other employee that she had to interrupt their conversation to ring me up. Well, sorry if I'm interrupting you to buy an item that's hundreds of dollars that will help  keep your job secure so you can continue to ignore customers! Like I said, this is a rant.

She held out a card for insurance and said that she would insure it for $45, not even bothering to say what it covered, because clearly she was in a hurry. I said no thank you. She kept trying to convince me that it was a good idea, so I said, ever so quietly, "Fine. I'll take it." I took the bag and went out to my car to try the phone out. I have learned from experience always open electronics in the parking lot to make sure all parts are there, saves me a lot of trips. What do you know, my SIM card did not fit. I put everything back into the box and went back in. I went to customer service, receipt in hand.....and of course the same person that rung me up was not in guest services. I walked up, she of course looked very concerned, and I told her the SIM card didn't fit. She asked to see my SIM card, because no one ever believes a word I say. This isn't just her fault. This is an everyday thing with everyone I know. She took it back to electronics and had them look at it. It still wasn't fitting, and they don't accept returns on cell phones that have been opened. She recommended going to T-Mobile to get my SIM card cut to fit. She told me they had a kit for cutting it but it was expensive, to which I'm thinking, if you had better customer service you would offer this so that people wouldn't have to return $400 phones.

Off I went to T-Mobile, but of course I couldn't go to the same one, mainly because I was afraid the guy would say that he wouldn't help me because I didn't have permission to change things. I went into the store, luckily I was the only one in there, and he promptly processed a mini SIM card for me that worked. I thanked him and left, only to hear I was leaving, and another customer (Asian) was entering, "Hey, can you help the Asian guy?" Customer service really does suck these days. I know times have changed, but thirty years ago T-Mobile would have helped me find a solution rather than telling me I needed permission. Best Buy would have asked about ordering a phone, or offering a discount on a new phone if I didn't do a contract. Target would have asked if I wanted help setting the phone up, making sure everything works, or giving me a number to call if I had any problems. They also would have explained their return policy up front. The only thing that hasn't changed is the racism. That really angered me, it was the cherry on top. It wasn't so much the customer service that sucked everywhere, but just the lack of compassion for the customer. No one values business anymore. Even when I was at the customer service desk at Target they were talking about unrelated, non work stuff while helping customers. I used to work at Byerly's and if I ever did this while helping customers I would get talked to.

Anyways, the only problem with a new SIM card was that the old one no longer worked. I had no cell phone for the whole afternoon today, which wasn't so bad because I hardly get any calls. I mainly have a cell phone for calls, texts, and social networking, so I can fit in with the crowd. Seriously, though, I did need an upgrade, it was just frustrating that I had to go to five different stores to get it done. I do feel a lot better after getting this out of my system. One more thing, I also went to Taco Bell for "happy hour." I know it isn't the best place to judge, but when I asked about flavors of something that they offered, she wordlessly pointed to a sign and then walked away. I weep for the future of businesses. I will end with a quote from my grandpa, who was a successful entrepreneur himself:

"The business opportunities in this world are not golden, they are platinum. You can sell anything if you have the right approach."

Day 69: Top 10 Halloween/Spooky Songs

Well Halloween night is here. I just finished watching my traditional Halloween movies, Nightmare Before Christmas and It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. I have been listening to a lot of Halloween and spooky themed music over the last few weeks, and singing some as well, just from work alone. Everybody has their own opinion on different songs for this spooky holiday, but I thought I would share my top 10 list of favorite Halloween and spooky themed songs.

10) Spooky - This one, by a group called the Classics IV, has always been a favorite. It's old, but is also one of the only songs on here that has the word "Halloween" in the lyrics.

9) Theme from The Munsters - Another oldie, but goodie. I have never really even watched this show, but this song is rocking, in a spooky kind of way.

8) Thriller - Michael Jackson did right with this song, even the video plays out like a horror movie. I finally learned the dance about six months ago.

7) Dragula - This is probably one of the only Rob Zombie songs that I like, but the lyrics are really haunting.

6) Don't Fear the Reaper - I grew up with oldies, so I like a lot of these older songs. This one is fairly macabre, and if the title isn't enough to convince you listen to the creepy solo about halfway in.

5) Mad World - I am partial to the Tears for Fears version, but Gary Jules did a pretty good remake of it as well. What's important is the lyrics, nothings more dark than talking about your own death.

4) Ghostbusters - I grew up with these movies, and the theme is wonderful to dance to at a Halloween party. Although some of the lyrics seem like they might have double meaning...

3) This is Halloween - The theme for Halloween in my opinion. One of Danny Elfman's best songs written, describing every aspect of an eerie Halloween night.

2) Monster Mash - This song is corny, but I love it! The sound effects are ridiculous, and I'm pretty sure Bobby Pickett meant for it to be a joke. Another good one to dance to this Halloween.

1) Time Warp - Another oldie tops my list, but no matter how many times I hear this song I still love it. It's also just so much fun to dance to.

So that's it for my favorite songs to listen to at Halloween time. If you have any favorites post them in the comments. For now I think I'm going to take down my decorations and get ready for Thanksgiving. I have a rule that nothing Christmas can go up until after that holiday, which just happens to be my favorite. Perhaps I will have to make a top ten list for Thanksgiving.

Happy Halloween everyone!

Day 66: Top 10 for Halloween

Halloween is fast approaching, even though I can hardly believe November is practically here. I was thinking the other day about any good Halloween movies that I own to watch on Thursday evening, and I actually came up with more than I thought. This is a list of the top 10 Halloween movies that I own. Also, I always watch the top movie on this list every Halloween.

10: Nothing But Trouble - This is the ultimate B movie of the 80's. It has John Candy, Chevy Chase, and even Digital Underground (2Pac) in it. Very disturbing, but in a funny way.

9: Ghostbusters - I love the classics, and this is the classic from my generation. Not too scary, can make you laugh, and has some great acting by some great comedians.

8: Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - I love musicals, even though this one is highly gory.

7: Rocky Horror Picture Show - Tim Curry in drag singing. Need I say more? One of the best (and only) sing along experiences I have experienced in a theater.

6: Cry Wolf - If you haven't seen this intense teen thriller I would highly recommend it. There's almost no gore, it has an amazing twist at the end, and Bon Jovi is in it!

5: Beetlejuice - Michael Keaton at his best in my opinion. He's only in the movie for about a half hour, but makes up for it by giving the most outrageous, off the wall performance.

4: It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown - Another classic that is a must see every Halloween. 25 minutes of pure enjoyment.

3: The Silence of the Lambs - I love psychological thrillers, and this movie doesn't disappoint. Anthony Hopkins at his best.

2: Little Shop of Horrors - Another great musical in the horror genre, as in the newer version with Rick Moranis and Steve Martin. It's not too often you get to see Steve Martin busting a move in a lab coat.

1: The Nightmare Before Christmas - When this movie first came out I was not allowed to watch it (I was nine). I have now seen it so many times I sing along to all the songs. Sometimes I even watch it at Christmas time as well.

That's all folks, as you can tell I really love musicals. Almost half of my list is musicals, but only two movies on there I would consider to be gory movies. It just goes to show you can have a great Halloween movie, or scary movie, without lots of blood and guts. I do have to say there is one honorable mention. I don't own it, so I didn't put it on my list, but I would have to say Psycho is one of the better scary movies out there. It proved that it isn't what you see that scares you, it's what you don't see that's even scarier.

What's your favorite Halloween movie? What movie do you HAVE to watch every Halloween? Later this week I will post my top 10 songs for Halloween. For now this is a picture of my costume last year, I was a clown.

Day 65: This is the story all about how my night got flipped, turned upside down

It's been awhile! I'm happy to say that even though I am now 30 years old, I can still enjoy the night like a twenty something. It all started a couple weeks ago, when I decided that, since my friends haven't been doing much hanging out lately, I would go to a meetup party for Halloween instead. It was held downtown at a place called Sneaky Pete's, which is basically a party bar, but I figured a good atmosphere for a Halloween party. A couple days later I was invited to another Halloween party hosted by one of my friends, but I had already paid my ticket for the other party. My friend kept messaging me asking if I was going, and finally I told her I would try to make it. Two parties in one night? In the words of Barney Stinson: Challenge accepted!

I actually got off work a little early so that I could get ready for the party in downtown. I planned on taking the bus, that way I didn't have to deal with parking or heavy traffic in downtown Minneapolis the weekend before Halloween. I knew I would miss the 6:30 bus, so I told myself I would take the 7:00. Nope, missed that one too. It was at least a ten minute walk to the bus station from my apartment, so I knew I had to leave a little early, so I told myself the 7:50 would be the one. I got to the station about 7:40 and waited in the cold for about ten minutes before the bus came. It was a looong bus ride! It wasn't an express so it was all side streets, the whole way there.

Finally we pulled up to Hennepin and I hopped out, glancing at the time on my cell phone. 8:30. Not bad, but a little late. The party had started at 7:00, but it's always good to be a little late anyways, especially if the host is late. I walked in and wandered down to the party. This was not a good "first meetup" if you didn't know anyone. When I first walked down there I didn't recognize one face. I almost walked out, actually. I was only planning on staying until 9:30 anyways, cause that's when the bus was leaving that would take me to my next party. After mingling a little more, I found some familiar faces, and was actually meeting some new faces, which wasn't easy with everyone in costume and the music playing at ten times the normal volume. After the costume contest, and a small dance party, I decided to move on, as most people were starting to do so as well.

The next party was near the mall, so I decided to just take the light rail and hopefully catch a bus from there. It was a very relaxing ride actually, just resting, for about twenty minutes, until a voice on the overhead told us to get off the bus, that it was no longer in service. This was right after the airport stops. Apparently even the light rail isn't exempt from construction. So we all piled off the light rail, and onto a couple of waiting buses, with drivers who were less than enthused to be driving the bar crowd home. I asked the driver if the bus went to the mall, and she responded, in the most monotone voice, "yes. this bus goes to the mall."

I got the crazy bus apparently, with people trying to bribe the driver to drop them off at their hotel, and talking about needing a bathroom. When we got to the mall I jumped off, noticed the time, and had another decision to make: take the bus and not get there for another half hour or take a taxi and get there in ten minutes. I decided that, even though it would cost a lot of extra moolah, to take the taxi. It was worth it, anything to get away from the crazies. Funny thing is, after I hopped in the taxi, they tried to hop in with me, to which the taxi driver told them to back off and get the next one.

I finally made it to the next party, which was a lot of fun. It was like an old fashioned kids party with prizes, games, and lots of snacks. I had looked up a schedule and if I wanted to get back to my place needed to catch a bus by 1:00. No problem, it was only 11:30. When I got there they were playing charades. How many times do you get to play charades with a group of adults anymore? Everyone is always trying to act so grown up, it was nice to act like a kid for the night.

When I looked at the clock next, my heart sank. It was 1:30. I went to the online bus schedule, but it only informed me that I had no bus options this late at night. I weighed out my options. Another taxi ride would be at least $20 to get home. A couple people at the party lived near me, they might be willing to give me a ride. Or I could just cut my losses and stake out a place on the couch/floor. My friend told me that if I wanted to stay I was more than welcome, and that she would be more than happy to give me a ride home in the morning. Someone else then told me that they could possibly give me a ride home. I ended up getting a ride back to my area, at about 2:30 am, which oddly is the time right now. Here I am writing this 24 hours later, crazy...

I do have to say I would not be able to do this every weekend, but it was nice to be so active in one night. It was my own little adventure. I was worried about even going, actually, because earlier that day I had a really bad case of vertigo. I was supposed to work at 9:30, but didn't get there until 10:30, and was dead tired all day because of the medicine I took for it. This was another reason I knew I wouldn't be driving around last night. When the vertigo hits like that I can't turn my head from side to side, so driving would have been very dangerous. I had to pump my music and blast the AC the whole drive home from work just so that I wouldn't fall asleep. I've never understood why they make vertigo medicine to make you drowsy. When you already feel like you are falling down, you don't need a reason to actually pass out.

Anyways, I should probably go pass out now, my concept of time goes out the window on the weekends, especially last night with missing my bus, but hopefully more adventures will come in the following weeks.

Day 56: It's been awhile...

So I haven't posted on here in awhile, been doing some adjusting to my new home. I had scary night #2 about two weeks ago, which I almost called the police on. I was watching a movie when I heard two people arguing in the hall. One was telling the other "you better not come back, I'm gonna stab you n****!" Then the door shut and I heard him muttering under his breath after the other had left. The next morning there were gang tags on one of the windows. I guess I do live in the ghetto...

I have recently noticed something crazy about advertisements. I was searching for a costume on Amazon, to see if it was cheaper than the stores. Later I was on a networking site and an ad for Amazon popped up, with the exact costume I had searched! Tonight, it was even more crazy. I was instant messaging someone about various interests, and they mentioned that they were getting in line early to get the big rig toy at Fleet Farm the following morning. After refreshing the page I noticed on advertisement for the doorbuster prize that this person had just mentioned. Creepy, huh?

I went to a Meetup a week ago and one of the girls in this Meetup works for online advertisements, and she said that this is common. It's all computerized, but this is why you get coupons at Target that likely is stuff you are interested in. For example, I have an electronic toothbrush and buy my replacement heads at Target all the time. I swear my Target card keeps track of this because every time I go through the checkout I get coupons for Sonicare products. I also buy a lot of clothing there so I get coupons for clothes too.

It is so weird to think that somewhere out there is a huge database that has all your information about your shopping habits, preferences, and likes. It is kind of nice, though, because then you get coupons for stuff that you buy anyways. It's a lot easier than trying to clip coupons in the Sunday ads, which is usually all for junk food anyways. Speaking of which, I am going to start a juicing diet within the next couple weeks. I am not going to go hard core, 3x a day, no meat or dairy, but I am going to juice at least one meal a day. I talked to my brother, who has tried it with his wife, and they are going to help me start by showing how they juice. Anybody else have any experience with this? I'm getting mixed reviews, a lot of people saying it's either too time consuming or that it's not good to do unless you consult with your doctor. I'll have to see how it goes.

Day 30: More Movies - Part 3

The weather has been so beautiful, so it's been a couple days since my last post. When nice weather comes around in September I like to take full advantage of it. I was able to get out to two different Frisbee golf courses, and didn't do too bad. Amazingly I couldn't find anyone who wanted to share in this adventure, but it helped me practice my skills a little bit. While I've been unpacking my last few boxes I've had a couple "background movies" on. Usually when I want background noise I go for the documentaries, and there were a couple that I've been meaning to check out. Most of these you don't have to actually watch the screen, you can just listen to the dialogue and get the full story. These two were about average, but were interesting nonetheless. I'll start with the one I watched first.

Hungry for Change
This is a documentary on how everything that you buy in the grocery store is unhealthy and should be avoided at all costs, or you will get fat, diabetic, or sick. I had to watch this one in twenty minute segments, mainly because after watching a little bit I would be disgusted with myself. It's hard to sit down to eat your frozen dinner and they are talking about how everything sold in stores is so unhealthy and there is nothing you can do about it. I could not eat while watching this show, it just made me depressed. If you have every seen "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead," this is basically the hybrid mother of that film. The guy from that movie is in this one, promoting his juicing diet of course, as well as a handful of other weight loss celebrities. I think they made a good point that you should read labels and be careful of what you eat, especially avoiding high fructose corn syrup, but eating local is just not an option for some. I know I can't always afford it. I do eventually want to start juicing at least three meals a week, but the juicers are expensive as well. I try to get as much fruits and vegetables in my diet as possible, but it's hard. I bought two cantoloupes the other day, mainly because I had to buy two to get the sale price. Two days later my kitchen is full of fruit flies. I lift up the cantolope and there is a big mold spot on the bottom. Luckily I had cut one of them up right away, but this is what makes it hard to buy healthy. Unless you use it right away it doesn't keep for long, which makes it expensive. Overall it was a good documentary, especially if you are trying to go on a diet, but not if you are feeling down or just ordered Dominoes.


Craigslist Joe
My friends had recommended this movie to me awhile ago. I kept seeing it on Netflix, and the synopsis sounded interesting. A guy basically decides to go out in the world, a la "Into the Wild," with limited supplies to see if he can survive only on Craigslist postings. I didn't quite understand how he would find places to sleep, who would offer their house to a complete stranger, but he did it. Or at least what the camera captured looked like he did it. He got many free rides from complete strangers, which I didn't even know was possible. To me this seemed like advertising something that the wrong people could take advantage of. Some of these people were young, single women. I know I would never offer a ride to a complete stranger, even on Craigslist. It's basically the cyber version of hitchhiking. It was interesting to see his journey and all the people he met, but I can't imagine he would have had the same success had a camera man not been with him. In this day and age you can never be too cautious.

Day 26: The Best Movies You've Probably Never Heard Of: Part 2

The fall weather is so beautiful lately, so I've been spending a lot of time outdoors, at least until the sun sets. This means that by the time I get home from work, I don't really have much daylight, so I've been watching a lot of movies. This installment of my movie reviews will focus on coming of age movies, two that you may or may not have heard of. When I found them on Netflix I had never heard of them, so these reviews are based on nothing that anyone else said about them. They are also from the 90's, so they were both fairly cheesy. There was one very striking difference: one was great, the other I would avoid like dirty socks in a locker room. We'll start with the bad, since I just finished it about an hour ago.

I Love You, I Love You Not (1996)
I chose this movie because it had an all star cast: Claire Danes, Jude Law, Julia Styles, and James Van der Beek. I couldn't believe I had never heard of this movie, since it came out the same time as a lot of other teen dramas that I enjoyed. After watching it, I can see why it didn't go very far. The main character, Daisy, has a grandmother who was in a concentration camp during the holocaust. Other than her having brief two second flashbacks and talking about the numbers on her arm, her story never develops beyond that. Daisy is constantly switching moods, one minute loving her grandma, and then throwing books at her grandma's face in the next. There is supposed to be a romance between her and Ethan (Jude Law), but it doesn't develop very far because he thinks she's too intense after fainting in a school assembly, as well as getting upset with others for making fun of the characters in the current book she is reading. Clearly her maturity isn't well developed, so he decides to end things. Then she decides to end things by standing in front of a train (sorry if I'm giving too much away, but I'm trying to save you 88 minutes). Her grandmother, of course, saves her at the last minute, which is right after she was screaming in her face that she was tired of being made fun of for being a Jew. Yes, the granddaughter is screaming at the grandmother, who is an Aushwitz survivor, that she's tired of the anti-Semitic comments. In the next scene she is of course shouldered up to her grandmother and they are back to sharing stories. I was thoroughly disappointed...

The Man in the Moon (1991)

I chose this movie because it had Reese Witherspoon in it when she was only 14 years old! I also seem to recall someone bringing it up at some point as a good movie to watch. It was advertised in the Netflix summary as a coming of age movie, and boy was it ever! The characters were very real and I can now see that why Reese Witherspoon is such a big actor now. This was one of her first movies, and it comes natural for her. The story is of a family in the 1950's, the parents have three kids and one on the way, living on a farm. Then a family friend moves back home to their farm, which happens to be next door, and of course this family friend has a handsome son, a young Jason London. Dani, Witherspooon, falls for him, but he doesn't want to give her the wrong impression because he is older and afraid he would take her innocence. Then he meets the older sister and falls in love. There are a couple surprises in the movie that are tragic, but the surprise is what makes them very real. Both of them caught me totally off guard and one of them had me in tears. That's the way life is supposed to be, though, catching you off guard when you least expect it. Check this one out if you're looking for a feel-good coming of age film, or if you just want to see what Reese Witherspoon looked like twenty years ago. Just make sure to save a seat for that box of tissues.

Day 25: The Best Movies You've Probably Never Heard Of: Part 1

I have recently started watching a lot of movies on Netflix, mainly either ones that have been in my queue forever or ones that have been recommended. I've seen some good, some terrible, and some average ones. The three most recent movies were probably three of the better movies I have seen in a long time, all foreign. We will do this by genre...

 

Comedy: The Intouchables (French) 

My mom loves foreign movies, and is always recommending them to me. She had been recommending one for awhile that I kept putting off, telling myself I would watch it when I had time. Foreign movies require more attention, because not only are you watching what's happening in the movie, but you have to read the subtitles to figure out what they are saying. The one she recommended was a French movie, The Intouchables, which is about a guy that is a paraplegic and must have someone care for him. When he hires someone, he turn out to be more fun than all the rest. He helps him to get outside more, have his first cigarette, and even have his first real date since his accident. It was one of the better feel good movies that I've seen. The characters were believable, and the plot never seemed rushed or too slow. If you are looking for a good laugh, check it out.


Thriller: The Wave (German)
I had a movie in my queue for the last year or two called The Wave, which is about a teacher who tries to teach his class something about autocracy and why a dictatorship doesn't work. This one came from, where else, but Germany. The setting was very well put, the teacher asks if the students knows what an autocracy is. I'll be honest, I didn't fully know until after watching this movie. The students say that it's kind of like the Nazi party, where Hitler had full control. The students get upset, and start protesting asking about why people can't just drop it, that kind of society could never happen again. So, of course, the teacher sets out to prove them wrong by forming an autocratic society in his classroom, which of course by the end of the movie, turns into a fascist society. This was a very disturbing movie, don't watch if you are looking for something easy going. It will have you thinking and, at some points, cringing, such as when one of the students starts following the teacher around and saluting him.

Drama: Silenced (Korean)
I'm not sure why I pick the movies I do, sometimes it's just what sounds good, or what has a lot of stars. I usually have a twenty minute rule, if I don't like the movie within twenty minutes, I turn it off. This next movie I had to watch in twenty minute clips, but not because it was bad. I watched the
Korean language film, Silenced, which is about an elementary school for the deaf where a teacher is sent to head an art class. The kids act really strange, and he can't figure out why, until he sees one of them being beat mercilessly in the principal's office. He then walks in on another teacher who is running a child through the washing machine. Yes, the child is in the washing machine. And it's running. This was the first point at which I had to turn it off. I came back to it a couple days later, and made it all the way to the scene where one of the girls is being raped by the principal. It was a really good movie, another very disturbing one though, but I would recommend it if you're up for deep thought. Just make sure you have a box of tissues handy.

There is a common theme in all these movies. I don't just pick totally random movies, usually there is one line that always grabs my attention. That line is: based on true events. That's right, every single one of these movies that I watched is based on something that really happened. They are all equally hard to believe, and that makes them that much more captivating.

I will keep trying to find new movies, mainstream are usually nothing too special anyways. I find that the more obscure a movie is, the more it's easier to watch because then I have no preconceived notions of what the movie is supposed to be about. I'm able to judge blindly. So, if you've seen any of these, or watch any of them, post in the comments what you think. Also feel free to post any recommendations, I'm always looking for good ones.

One last thing. I do not own any of the pictures in the above blog. If you would like me to remove them please contact me through the comments below and I will take them down. Thanks for reading.

Day 22/ 23: Last Day of Summer/First Day of Fall

Hello internet readers! I've been on hiatus for a couple days trying to get more organized. I've also been finally getting my social life back together. Yesterday was the last day of summer and it was beautiful! I had to work, but after I got off work I headed over to the Chatterbox Pub for some Music Bingo. I had played it many times at the nursing home where I work, but it was always older songs and I was always the "caller." They had four rounds of four different genres, although it took forever because they played every song all the way through. The categories were Motown, 70's, 80's, and 90's.

I went as part of a meetup group that I had just joined, so it was fun meeting new people, and it wasn't too far to drive either. Our table won the first two prizes, and we were so excited! The prizes were nothing too special, free breakfast, bloody mary, or appetizer. We realized after the third round that maybe we might be the only ones playing. After coming back from the bathroom I confirmed that there was maybe eight other people actually playing. Our group was nine strong, so our chances were pretty good. By the fourth round, 90's music, two hours had passed and the place was almost empty. I remember at one point looking down at my card and said, "Oh look, I won again...so did you, you can take it. I already have two breakfast coupons." Overall it was fun though, fun group of girls in my opinion.

Today was even warmer than yesterday, and it was the first day of fall! I had another meetup, which I almost didn't get up for, luckily my brother called me about something and woke me up. I was so grateful I showed up because I was the only one that did. The organizer said that everyone else had pretty much cancelled, so we just sat by the lake talking and getting to know one another. This was good because I have a much easier time getting to know someone 1:1 than in a group.

After leaving I decided that, since there wasn't a cloud in the sky and it was pushing 75 degrees outside, I would hit the Frisbee golf course. I couldn't find anyone to go with, so I stayed in the area where the meeetup was and tried out a new course. The site said 12 holes, and I think I found all of them, but it's hard when the baskets aren't numbered. I didn't do too bad, though, no lost discs. Once I found the route it was easier, but the first hole had me go across a bridge, so I played a couple out of turn before realizing this.

Meetups are very addictive, so I'm going to one tomorrow, the Twins vs. Tigers game. The problem is I have no Twins apparel, so I stopped at a thrift store to find a t-shirt, hoodie, or something to wear to the game. I found two Twins shirts that were moderately priced so, after trying them on, decided on one that was perfect. It was one size too big, which is good because with the outdoor stadium I figured I could always layer. At six dollars it was a deal! I got up to the register and gave her my card. She told me the number was invalid, tried it again, and said it was still invalid. I counted my quarters and pennies. $3.58. I asked if they took Discover card, and they said they didn't, so I handed her my bag and apologized, embarrassed and ashamed that I couldn't even buy a $6 t-shirt.

After leaving I called my bank, and, after giving them my SSN, phone number, full name, account number, maiden name, etc., they informed me that my card had been reported lost/stolen. I informed her that I had requested a new one be mailed to my new address because my old one was expiring at the end of them month and they had sent one to my old address, so that one had to be cancelled. Obviously they took this for meaning to go ahead and cancel the card completely. When I gave her my old card number she said it was deactivated and that I needed to activate my new one. She asked me to give her the security code I told her that I couldn't do that because I was at the store trying to buy something and didn't have the new one in my possession. She said, word for word, "well, then I guess we will be hearing from you soon then. Is there anything else I can help you with?" I wanted to scream into the phone that I had just pretty much rattled off every little bit of information pertinent to my life, and she couldn't reactivate my old card or activate my new one? What a joke...instead I just said no and hung up.

I think the stress is what caused the events of tonight to be so bad...I got a severe headache, almost as bad as the one when I was moving. It started off as just a little pain, so I took some Excedrin. Then it got more intense. Two hours later I was laying on my bed with my head under a pillow. Not on, but under. I felt so sick to my stomach and wanted to sleep away the pain. I turned on a movie and had to shield my eyes every time there was a day shot of the sun or lots of fast movement.

Once I felt better I decided to be a little productive, so I took some pictures of my apartment where there was damages, for security deposit reasons. I sent them via internet to target, then drove over and picked them up. When I got over there I decided that since I wasn't able to purchase a Twins shirt at the thrift store I would try Target. They had no Twins apparel. It was all gone and replaced by Vikings and Gopher apparel. I also noticed something strange, they already have a full aisle of Christmas stuff. This is the earliest I have ever seen it up.

When I got back home I was hungry, but didn't feel like cooking. Luckily I had some ramen noodles, because I don't think I could handle anything too exotic in my stomach. I also did a little reading, since movies are giving me a headache today. I started a book called Thirteen Reasons Why, which is about a girl who commits suicide then leaves a bunch of tapes detailing the thirteen reasons why she committed suicide. So far her reasons seem kind of stupid, but hopefully it gets better. It's just so good to be reading again.

Day 17: I Don't Want to Play Anymore

I love having my Mondays off! It really helps me to get stuff done that can never get done during the week. It amazes me how many cars are on the road, though. I left my apartment around two, I had a lot of errands to do, and it was like rush hour all around town. I ended up going to urgent care for my arm, woke up with it feeling much worse than yesterday, and found out I have a strained rotator cuff. They recommended physical therapy to help with it, but last time I went to physical therapy I got charged hundreds of dollars. I think this is the most ridiculous thing in America, the way health care works.

The first urgent care I went to was closed, said the lady behind the desk marked "urgent care," so I went to another urgent care up the street. They told me that I shouldn't waste my money because I might need x-rays, which they didn't have. FYI this was in one of the most wealthy suburbs. They referred me to a place that specializes in sports medicine, as it was a sports related injury. This one was also up the block, so I journeyed up there and started filling out forms. I was still nervous about insurance, I can't afford another couple hundred dollars for medical bills, so I called my insurance company while I was waiting. After going through the usual "micky mouse" routine (press 1 for English, 2 for medical claims, 3 if you've already lost your mind...), I got on the phone with someone that could help me. I told her where I was, but she said she couldn't say for sure if I was covered unless I had a doctor's name. I was confused and asked her if I needed to see somebody before I knew if I had coverage, which doesn't make sense. Unfortunately, she took this for me being sarcastic (I honestly wasn't) and her tone got very rude from that point on. Just then, they called my name to go in, so I asked if she would stay on the phone with me while I asked who I would be seeing. I spelled out the name for her, and she proceeded to tell me he was covered...then they wrote a different name! I apologized and asked if I could give her a different name, and she said that person was covered. She told me about something else insurance related, which I totally didn't understand, so I told her thanks and said goodbye.

If I could offer advice to American educators it would be this: offer a life course where you learn how to deal with insurance, or at least insurance definitions. Offer a course in learning how to finance your budget and balance a checkbook. I never really learned these things in school and here I am, 30 years old, and I still don't know a deductible from a claim. I always tell people to tell me in layman's terms what to expect for insurance. This was one case where I was in a pinch, and needed to just know right away if I was at least covered. If anything this should be part of a job orientation, or continuing education course. It's very confusing, and expensive sometimes. I had multiple doctor visits last year with an office I was told accepted my insurance. A month later I received a bill for almost four hundred dollars. I immediately called up my doctor, and told him I no longer wanted to be a patient there. He actually called my insurance to check on it, and it was true. I was not covered at all.

I'm a fairly healthy person, work out two to three times a week, eat out only once a week, get plenty of sleep, but I do not have a doctor. I don't even have a dentist anymore. I can't afford it. If anybody knows any way around this let me know. I've been trying to play this insurance game, and I lose every time. I know that, even today, I will probably get a bill for that visit in the amount of a hundred dollars, which will break my bank. I just have to remain hopeful that one day I will figure it all out and not have to worry about whether or not insurance will be covered. I'm actually going to look into Minnesota Care, any opinions? I've heard they are cheaper, right now I get so much money taken out of my paycheck for medical insurance that doesn't even cover  half of the bills when I see someone.

I've heard they have really good health insurance in Canada...

Day 16: A Very Active Day

At the beginning of the year I got really tired of the online dating scene, mainly because a lot of people didn't seem very serious on there. A couple people suggested Events and Adventures, but it was so expensive, I really didn't want to pay hundreds on dues for a social group that I might not even like. After some internet searching I discovered this site called meetup.com. For those of you that have never heard of it, they have a group for everything. It's not just for single people, or even young people. I decided to give it a shot, what did I have to lose, but kept chickening out, making every excuse in the book for why I wasn't going to go. I have a disorder that causes extreme social anxiety, so I knew that this was a big step for me, to go to an event with 30+ people and not knowing any of them.

I had been a member of a fitness meetup group for a about a month, going off and on, but I finally went to my first social meetup group on April 19, 2013, and never regretted a minute. It was so low-key and everyone was so friendly. We met up at Park Tavern in the party room, which was reserved for us, and then did $10 unlimited cosmic bowling. I didn't talk to very many people very much at that first meetup, but I could definitely feel myself making a huge leap in my social life. I went to my second one about a week later at a rock climbing gym. I'm not very good at rock climbing, but everyone was high fiving and offering encouragement, no matter the skill level. I was hooked! I started going to more meetups and getting more active in my social life.

As I mentioned in past blogs on here, my summer was very busy, so I stopped going for awhile. At first it was because I was helping my brother with his wedding. I was signed up for two meetups the following weekend, I figured by then I would be fully recovered from the previous weekend of wedding festivities. Unfortunately, all that week I was visiting my grandma and coping with her in the dying process, so had to miss out on a couple. That weekend she died and I went into a deep grieving process, that still comes around from time to time. A few weeks after that I decided to throw a big bash for my 30th, which took all my time and money to plan and execute. Luckily I used disposable plates and forks, that would have been a lot of dishes. A couple weeks after that I was in the process of moving. It has been two months since my last meetup.

Today I made up for it by going to two meetups. A couple people in one of the meetups asked where I had been, and I told them that the last couple months had been crazy. One person said that he hoped it was good crazy, to which I replied, "a little of both. I had a wedding, funeral, birthday party, and moved." He said, "well, that's the whole spectrum of emotion right there!" Oh, how I missed these groups. I played a pickup game of softball, had my first juicy lucy while relaxing after two hours of playing, played a round of Frisbee golf, played "cricket" darts (and lost), and relaxed while meeting new, and old, friends.

After getting home I decided to join a bunch more, mainly because I just get on a social "high" after going to these meetups. I started searching for book clubs, scrapbooking clubs, any way to get out of my apartment that won't break my bank too much. I feel like I spend too much time cooped up inside, especially lately, and today was a very refreshing break. I even went out this morning for breakfast with some friends and family that I haven't seen in almost a month. It ended up being a little expensive as far as food for the day, but worth it to have the opportunity to socialize with friends, old and new. It's also the first time in awhile that my feet hurt more than if I would have been at work all day. I might actually need to get painkillers tomorrow, pulled a muscle in my left shoulder while hitting a softball and then I had another softball hit me right on the inside of my elbow.

I'm hoping that as the winter months come I don't stop going. I know that I have a hard time going sometimes, due to social anxiety, but even if I just go to one a month it will at least get me out there. I also am planning on having a housewarming party soon, which will help because it will help get the old "gang" back together. Everybody is so busy these days that we need to schedule time in advance to hang out. That's life I guess...

Day 14: Friday the 13th!

I have officially been living in my new apartment for two weeks and I'm almost completely unpacked. It really is amazing how fast time flies, doesn't seem like more than a week ago I was packing and trying to get out of my old apartment. I have enjoyed the silence a little bit, kind of have been keeping to myself, which has helped me reflect on my life and where I want it to go. This blog is meant to talk about life experiences, mostly new, but this one will be about something that happened earlier this summer. It probably is the highlight of my summer...

I was supposed to have a gig on June 1st. An out of town gig for the jug band that I participate in. I asked off work to make sure I could make it to this gig. Instead something happened that prevented us from fulfilling the gig, so we all decided to gather at someone's house and have a little jam session. It was all going well, being with old friends and jamming out to new tunes. I'm usually the type of person who never gets phone calls during the day, but this day I got a call from my grandma. My first thought was that something was wrong, because she never called that early, but instead she sounded lonely, looking to get together. She asked if I wanted to grab lunch in like an hour. I told her that I was at a band practice, but would call her as soon as I left.

After the jam session I called her and asked where she wanted to go. She said she didn't care, that I could pick, but then she thought of the Lakeshore Grill in Macy's. It was the one place that we always ended up going to, mainly for their steaming, hot popovers and quiet atmosphere. We pulled up to Southdale, handicap parking of course so we didn't have to walk too far, and went to the basement, which is where the restaurant is. We both ordered the same thing, which for the life of me I can't remember what it is. I just remember it was some sort of chicken with Asian noodles. It was really good, but also really filling.

Anyone that knew my grandma knew that she had no problem speaking her mind and saying whatever popped into her head, especially the last few years. We had been sitting there for about ten minutes enjoying our food when two ladies, who were clearly in love, walked in and sat down next to us. My grandma stared so hard that I think she forgot how quiet it was in the restaurant, because then she said, in a voice above a whisper, "Do you think they are gay?" My face went lower towards my plate, and I had to smile. Here is an 89-year-old lady, she has earned the right to say whatever she wants, she doesn't care about offending anyone anymore. On the way to the elevator she repeated, "Do you think they were gay?" I said, "Grandma, you know you can't ask people that in public," to which she said, "I think they were."

After filling our bellies with good food I asked her if she had any errands to run, and she told me she could use some milk. So we stopped off at Rainbow and walked the aisles looking for Toaster Strudels and milk. Toaster Strudels were always her favorites, she had one every morning. For as long as I can remember, whenever I eat one I think of her, that and Spaghettios, which she fed me whenever she babysat for my mom. I drove her back to the assisted living where she was staying, and said goodbye.

A month and a half later, on July 20, 2013 at about 7:30pm, my grandma died after complications from a broken hip and a long battle with cancer. That dinner was the last time that we got together just the two of us. I saw her a couple times after that, the very last time I actually saw her before the fall was on July 4th, and when I got her on the phone I had to convince her to come along, that it would be fun. She didn't like to go out much the last few months, which was probably due to being afraid of falling or being tired, I can only imagine, she never told me the exact reason. That last dinner really was one of my best memories of her, though, because she never said no or even hesitated to get together last minute for lunch or dinner with me.

I have done a lot of healing over the last couple months, but I still cry when I think about her. She was very special to me, and she was the one person that seemed like she always understood me and never judged me for being different. Now when I have Mondays off I don't know what to do because I would always call her up for a late brunch at her apartment. I know she was in more pain than she let on, and I'm glad that she isn't suffering. It takes a strong person to live through as much as she did. I have no regrets though, I have a lot of happy memories, even just this last summer. We got to go to a couple brunches, she got to see my accordion band play, and we enjoyed the fireworks over the skyline of France Ave.

When I think back to that day of our last lunch, all I can think is I shouldn't have been free for lunch.  I was supposed to be at work, or out of town. By some divine intervention, as if God knew something special would happen that day, I was able to get together with her. It was hard to get together those last few months because she was always sick. This was one of the few days that she wasn't. I'm glad that everything worked out so that we could have one more lunch at the Lakeshore Grill.