25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 22: A Song That Someone Has Sung To You

 I don't have a song for this day. Nobody has ever sung a song to me or for me. I have sang songs to other people, such as my husband and various friends, but have never had a song sung to me. My husband is very shy about his singing voice and my friends don't really sing songs to me, sometimes with me in the past, but never to me or for me. I'm sure my parents did when I was a baby, whether it be a lullaby or simple humming, but I don't remember. I remember doing patty-cake and other rhymes with my mom or my grandma, which is probably the closest I ever got to having someone sing to me. Oh well. 

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 21: Your Favorite Song

 

For this entry I chose my all-time favorite song, instead of my current favorite song, Every New Day by Five Iron Frenzy. I have loved this song since I first heard it over 26 years ago. It really has beautiful lyrics and a fun melody. There is even a quote from William Blake's poem "The Tiger" (when the stars threw down their spears/watered heaven with their tears). I later listened to the album as a whole, and a lot of the songs became my most wore out cd when I was in high school. The cd ended up skipping I played it so much and I had to replace 6 years later, except this turned into one of the hardest to find cds. The band broke up in 2003 and cds became rare and expensive. 

This song came out at the height of ska music's popularity with bands such as Reel Big Fish and The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. I was immediately drawn more to this band's music as well as their lyrics, this one being no exception. It talks out how to deal with daily struggles but still have a strong faith-based system. 

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 20: The Last Song Alphabetically in Your Ipod Itunes

The last song in my iTunes library alphabetically is titled Zumba by Don Omar. This song came out 10 years ago in 2013, right about the time that Zumba released some video games for in home practice. I had one titled Zumba Fitness for the Playstation 3 that I absolutely loved and would play/dance to daily. It was such a great workout without having to go to the gym. This is one of the songs that was featured on that video game. This style of workout/dancing was a great way to stay fit and have fun while learning the routines. I eventually ended up joining a gym to do Zumba and learned more complex routines, but that video game was where it all started. 

This song was one that I got on a cd that I rented from the library, which had a couple other songs that I really liked including El Tiburon by Henry Mendez and Limbo by Daddy Yankee. Recently I was driving somewhere in my car with my husband and my mom. One of the songs from this album came on (they are all Latino songs) and she said, "Do you like that Spanish music? I suppose you can understand what they are saying." I told her that I got the gist of it, as I took a lot of Spanish classes and have started relearning Spanish via Duolingo, but even before that I remember loving Pete Cetera as a kid, listening to both the English and Spanish version of songs. I usually have a hard time understanding English singers, and so I naturally enjoy music, even if I don't understand the lyrics all the time. There have been a few times I've been surprised by what is being sung, but for the most part Latino and reggaeton music has uplifting lyrics with a positive message.

 

 

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 19: The First Song Alphabetically in Your Ipod Itunes

 The first song on my iPhone library is According to You by Orianthi. I recently got into this song after seeing a TikTok trend in which the person would have a picture of someone that didn't respect them or wasn't nice to them growing up during the verses, and then during the chorus would be a picture of someone that loved them for who they are. As I listened closer to the lyrics, I realized that the song has a deeper meaning than just finding your soul mate. It can also mean having a parent that respects you and doesn't mistreat you or put you down. It can also mean finding friends that are there for you and aren't judgemental. 

I didn't really like this song when it first came out, but it has definitely found a new place in my playlist. It sounded like every other breakup/rebound song on the surface, with a jaded lover finding someone who loves her. I now think of it more as a song about trying to surround myself with people who accept me for who I am and not compromising my personality or values to maintain friendships. We all can think of one person, whether friend or family, that has made us feel like dirt or undervalued in our life, and when you think of that person while listening to this song, it really makes the verses stick out and you realize you are worth more than people make you think. I heard all the time growing up that I was too quiet, too shy, and people took that for me being rude or mean, because I didn't talk very much. I now surround myself with people that are ok with someone that is super shy or is quiet in a group of friends. Below is a line from this song that sum up how I feel after listening to it:

I need to feel appreciated, loved not hated, oh no!

Time Flies (Five Years Later)

"Time keeps on tickin, into the future"

It has been way too long since I've blogged on here. I'm sort of disappointed that I didn't even finish the 25 day song challenge, but I guess I will continue with that later this year. I've recently found some old diaries from when I was ten years old, and found it so interesting to read about my life back then. I even found it fascinating to read some of these entries from five years ago. Since this is my last year in my thirties, I figured I should get back on this blog and post some more. Once again, I love lists, so here goes my list of things that have changed in the last five years:

New puppy Roxie the Doxie!

• Went through six (yes six) different jobs in the last five years
• Got in a car accident that resulted in a severe concussion
• Car was totaled in accident, got a new car (truck)
• Cat that we got in 2018 developed cancer and had to be put down in March of 2020
• COVID pandemic (need I say more) (I actually did keep a journal of this which I might eventually upload in the future)
• Adopted a puppy
• Lost even more friends for unknown reasons

It has been an absolute whirlwind of a life lately, especially with the pandemic changing how I work. Ever since April 2020 I have had to wear a mask on my face while I work. Some facilities don't wear masks anymore, but mind does. I am one of the only people to never have gotten COVID that I know of. My husband even got it at one point, but I somehow avoided it. 

Looking to the future, I am getting really weary of the cold weather every winter, so me and my husband have been looking at moving somewhere a little warmer. It does wear on you mentally and physically. We have also been steadily losing friends for various reasons, which I won't post in here, but it really helped me to step back in life and reexamine who I keep as friends and who is not worth putting in an effort. I've also applied this rule to family, and I have been learning to live a much happier life. 

I keep my mind occupied as much as I can with jigsaw puzzles, especially since the annual puzzle olympics started three years ago. Every year a group of puzzles on Facebook organizes an online event in which players can do puzzles of different piece counts and compete for fun! There are usually raffles, of which I have won every time, but this year they added a winter event! I placed tenth in the event last spring, so I'm excited to see where I place in this event. 

Hopefully I can continue with Day 19 of the 25 Day song challenge. 

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 18: A Song That You Love But Rarely Listen To

This is a hard one to post, because I rarely listen to my favorite song as well, which is coming up on a later date, so I chose a different "favorite" that rarely gets any playtime on my speakers. When I was in college I was required to take one semester of choir, which I had never been in because I'm not that great of a singer. I was thrilled when I learned that we would be singing something in English as well, Mendelsohnn's Elijah. I fell in love with all of the music, but there is one piece toward the beginning, one that wasn't even part of the choral part sung by a male soloist titled "If With All Your Hearts."

The lyrics say it best with the opening lines:

If with all your heart ye truly seek Me,
Ye shall ever surely find Me,
Thus saith our God.

The middle part goes on from the human perspective asking where to find Him, then coming back to the line above at the end. Mendelssohn has always been a favorite for me, but I had never heard of this piece, so it certainly was a treat to be able to enjoy this music all semester. 

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 17: A Song That Makes You Want To Dance

During my internship for music therapy I discovered a lot of great music I didn't know I liked. Among these genres were Soul, Blues, and Hilife. The latter one is one that people usually don't understand when I tell them about it. Hilife music is African music, specifically from Ghana region, but has American jazz influences as well. I've always been fascinated by songs from other countries and ended up doing a special project in which I made two cds representing the continents of Asia, Africa, Europe, and the Americas. I came up with the idea after seeing that the care center in which I was working had very little cultural music, most of it being golden oldies and classical. I made the cds on my own computer, so I got to keep the downloaded files as well.

The song that really gets me dancing is called "Jeun  Ko Ku (Chop 'n Quench)" by Fela Kuti and Nigeria 70. There are no lyrics, it is just 7 minutes of African jazz with a great beat. I've actually used this in sessions for drumming circles because of its steady beat and rhythm. It's one of those songs that you listen to and you can't help but tap your feet.

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 16: A Song That Has Made You Cry

I'm a fan of the golden oldies and am convinced this is why I tend to be able to connect with that generation better in my professional career. I grew up listening to bubblegum pop, classic rock, and rockabilly music. I've always enjoyed this era of music, especially the 70's, but really discovered a love of soul music before I even knew what it was. I later learned what it was during my internship for music therapy and it opened up a world of great music for me.

For this post I've chosen the soul song "Stand By Me," which I first heard in the movie of the same name, adapted from the Stephen King novella, The Body. I first saw this movie when I was probably no more than eleven, and it was on broadcast tv, so of course all the swearing was cut out, making it seem like a poorly edited movie to me at the time. When I actually saw the real version about ten years later, so much more made sense.

This song has always made me cry and I'm really not sure why. I could name many other songs that make me cry for different reasons, such as reminding me of lost loved ones or of a hard time in my life, but this one is one of the few songs that is just so beautiful that the melody itself makes me tear up every time. This makes it hard to use this song in my music therapy sessions as I have to be very cautious not to get too emotional and remain professional. I think it also speaks volumes that this is literally the only song (as of 2018) that has charted in the top 10 almost twenty-five years apart, with no modifications made to the recording whatsoever. What people heard on their radios in 1961 is the same as what we heard in 1986. Absolutely timeless.

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 15: A Song You Love Singing Along To

When I was in college I spent a lot of time in my dorm hanging out with my neighbors, forming some close friendships. We would often spend time relaxing, just listening to music, sitting in the hallways talking. On one of these occasions I was in my across the hall neighbor's dorm and she was playing a song I didn't really recognize. She restarted the song, claiming, "You've got to hear the whole thing, from the beginning, this song is pretty awesome!" What I listened to ended up being eight and a half minutes of pure rock opera called "Paradise By the Dashboard Lights." I love singing along to this song, but seldom sing it at karaoke, as it really is meant to be a duet. When it's playing on the radio though, I belt it out, both parts, with no holding back.

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 14: A Song That Reminds You of Your Boyfriend

I almost thought of skipping this day, or just making up a different topic for this day, but decided in the end that maybe it was a good thing to think of another song that reminds me of my boyfriend (husband). The reason being is that this topic and day 8 (first love) are the same person for me. As I stated in previous blogs, I never really fell in love until I met my husband, so he was my "first love" and would also be considered my "boyfriend." There are actually quite a few songs that remind me of him, so I will pick something a little different for this one. 

We both are huge fans of Earth, Wind, and Fire and it was actually one of the only bands that we had in common on our ipods/iphones when we started dating. This is one of their hits titled "Got To Get You Into My Life," which I actually included on the soundtrack when I put our digital wedding album together. It has such a fun, bouncy tune that is infectious from the start. The words really really describe what both of us were feeling before we met: 

I was alone, I took a ride
I didn't know what I would find there
Another road where maybe I
Could see another kind of mind there
Ooh, then I suddenly see you
Ooh, did I tell you I need you
Every single day of my life

We both had no idea what we were in for, but here we are four years later continuing this journey that we started back then. I think often we meet the love of our life at the exact moment we need them. My husband and I have talked about this at length, that if we had met at any other time previous in our lives, we would have never lasted. It was all about being in the right place at the right time.

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 13: A Song That Reminds You of a Former Friend

"You have so many relationships in this life, only one or two will last, you go through all that pain and strife, then you turn your back and they're gone so fast"

I never knew the profoundness of these lyrics until recently when a lot of my friends just stopped wanting to be friends. No reason really, they just deleted me off of their account, told me to have a nice life, but otherwise no explanation. These were deep friendships too, as in a lot of them knew my deepest, darkest secrets. I've learned that you can't trust anyone to be there forever, you can only rely on yourself.

There is one that sticks out for me, mainly because I bonded with this person over a shared love of music. I'm not going to drop names, as I don't like giving real names on here, it's more of a privacy thing, but I will go so far as to say that this friendship was forged through hanging out with my brother when I got back from college. I've always had trouble making friendships and my brother invited me to hang out with some of "his" friends. Over time I started hanging out with one of them even when my brother wasn't, and we started to hang out on a regular basis. It got so that when him and his girlfriend knew I was coming over they would leave the door unlocked and I never knocked to enter his house. The few times I did, they both acted like I was crazy, I didn't need to knock. They called me family.

This one hurt more than a lot of my other friendships because I still to this day have no idea why they decided to stop being friends. One day I noticed that I had been unfriended by both of them with no explanation and no response on their cell phones. It hurt as bad as a breakup. This was a friendship that had lasted about six years, a friendship that had us hanging out almost every weekend, laughing together, crying together. We had a general understanding that we would do anything for each other. The first time I heard the artist Yelawolf was when my friend had bought the cd during a breakup with his gf and we spent all night trying to cheer him up, including an all nighter at Mystic. I immediately fell in love with the cd, especially this song.

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 12: The Last Song You Heard

I was going to do this post the other night, and then I realized that I couldn't remember the last song that I heard. Right now I'm actually listening to music, so I'll post the song that's playing which is Breaking Benjamin's "I Will Not Bow."

This is actually my favorite band from the past, by that I mean that the current line-up is different than this one. They have a similar sound, as the singer is still the same, but the older stuff is still my favorite. My husband had actually never heard of them until I showed him some of their songs last week. This is one of the songs I showed him to introduce them, which he ended up liking and saying that it reminded him of Nirvana. While I don't agree that they sound like Nirvana, this was a step up from the usual response that all rock bands sound the same. This is also the band that I listen to at work when I'm having a bad day. For some reason this music helps me clear my head and makes me feel better. 

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 11: A Song On the Soundtrack of Your Favorite Movie

I've always been a fan of musicals, so my favorite movie is a musical of course. I have several favorites, but one that never seems like it gets old is Moulin Rouge. It is almost 20 years old, and I still love every minute of it. I could pick so many different songs from this movie, but the one original song from this movie, Come What May, really resonates with me. I've had a lot of ups and down in this first year and half of marriage, as anyone will tell you always happens. In our marriage counseling, our pastor explained that something changes after marriage, you would think it stays the same, but something changes in the way you relate to each other. He was absolutely right, even though we sat there and said that we wouldn't be like that, we would always communicate if things started to get hard and things wouldn't get out of hand. That's worked so far, but I think it might not have to do with marriage even, but just time. Over time you get more comfortable with someone and marriage is saying that you commit to that relationship, come hell or high water, so you shouldn't have to work as hard to keep each other's interest anymore. This is the exact opposite in my experience. People will get on your nerves and next thing you find yourselves arguing about what color white paint looks best in the garage.

This song is a reminder to say no matter what happens, you will have love. I know that this doesn't always solve things, but it does say a lot when things seem so bad that you don't know how you are going to make it. As I said in an earlier post, we had a lot of hardships with buying a house. We actually almost lost our house when our sewer broke last winter. We started researching food shelters and doing anything we could to save a buck or two to make it to next paycheck. We took out an extra loan. In our darkest time, when we weren't sure if we were going to make it, I told my husband that even if we lost the house, which would be devastating, we would find a cheap apartment, sell off extra possessions that we didn't need, and would still have our love for each other. We are still working it out every day because, let's face it, the economy is in the toilet, but we always make sure to say "I love you" to each other at least once a day. No matter what.

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 10: A Song By Your Favorite Band

You can tell a lot about a person from the kind of music they listen to. As soon as you start to share your musical tastes, interests, and dislikes, people almost immediately start to judge you and question why you choose to listen to certain music. In the modern age of a song a minute, people are constantly trying to be hipsters, the more obscure the better. If your favorite band/artist is someone on the Top 40 you are immediately seen as someone that just follows the crowd. Some people will just choose obscure bands so that they can appear cool, while listening to Maroon 5 and Britney Spears on repeat behind closed doors.

For me it's hard to pick a favorite band. It's like choosing a favorite food, it's impossible to distinguish between different regions, just like with music it's hard to distinguish between genres. Usually my favorite has been hard rock in the past, so I'll go with my favorite band in that genre. Currently one of my favorites is Set it Off, which is a lesser known band, but I first fell in love with their music when I listened to one of their songs and thought I was listening to a new Panic At the Disco song. Since I posted about that group in my last post, you can listen to both and see how similar they sound sometimes. The name of the song is called Duality from the album of the same name, the video showing how often there are two sides to every person, and also serves as a warning to anyone that treats you wrong, you might get the evil side. Sums up how people are often a combination of things and can't be defined by just one characteristic, in other words, don't judge a book by its cover. Just because you listen to Top 40 doesn't make you shallow and listening to obscure bands at the local cafe doesn't make you a hipster. We are a little bit of everything rolled into one.

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 9: A Song That Makes You Hopeful

This is a song that I've just recently discovered, appropriately named High Hopes. I sometimes put on Spotify radio and just play random songs, which is a good way to sometimes find new music. As soon as the horns blare in on that first note I knew I was in for a treat. This song couldn't have come at a better time as well. Lately life has been really looking down, but I knew that I shouldn't complain. I have a job that pays well, a house, a loving husband, but things are always bringing me down. My job gets on my nerves, most of the time I'm made to feel incompetent, my house has had issues since we moved in with sewer backing up and breaking and trees falling down, and all of this puts stress on my relationship with my husband. I think the hardest part sometimes for me is to remain hopeful when things have been bad for so long that you don't think you deserve to be happy.

This is something that I've struggled with in the past, and is a benchmark for anyone with anxiety and/or depression. When things always seem like they are falling apart and Murphy's law is working against you, often it feels like you don't deserve good things happening. Recently something really wonderful happened in my life, and I was given an opportunity that I knew I shouldn't pass up. Even though this was a dream come true, I was still trying to justify why I shouldn't take the opportunity, that I had other obligations that were more important. It took some friends, and my husband of course, to convince me that sometimes you have to take care of yourself.

Back to the subject of this post, the lyrics sum it up for me best:

Burn your biographies,
Rewrite your histories, 
Light up your wildest dreams

In summary, break the mold! Have hope that you can be that one in a million! In order for us to achieve greatness, we have to have hope in our hearts that we can do this, otherwise we are destined for a very mediocre, routine living.

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 8: A Song That Reminds You Of Your "First Love"

I've always been a very career driven person throughout most of my college career, having little to no time to think about falling "in love." By the time I graduated I still hadn't met anyone that I really would describe in a capacity such as "first love." I had fallen a couple times for guys, but never developed into a relationship and usually once the dating phase was over, the love as well was gone. It wasn't until I met my future husband that I really felt that connection. We didn't fall in love from first sight, as a lot of people describe, in fact we both pinned each other as a little aloof and uninterested after the first date. It was one of those relationships that develops over time gradually, which I think helped us fall in love and keep the spark going. 

Back to the song, We're In This Love Together, this was one that he "introduced" to me, as I had heard it before, but had not heard it since I was a kid so didn't immediately recognize it. We actually almost picked this song for our First Dance at our wedding, but ended up going with a different song, but due to some issues during the reception, I can't really listen to that song anymore. So in a sense this song is still pure, somewhat of a private song that we can call ours. 

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 7: A Song That Reminds You of the Past Summer

This past summer has absolutely flown by, I don't even remember much of anything besides working and trying to keep up with bills. This post is easy, however, because when I hear a song I usually can trace it back to something going on in my life including what year it was and sometimes even the season. For this reason there are a few songs I can't listen to anymore, as they are songs associated with very sad or dark memories. There are also quite a few that I trace back to very happy memories and give me a sense of relief to remember these times fondly.

The song I chose actually came out almost one year ago on September 22, 2017, called "One Foot" by Walk the Moon. In April this year (I know, technically spring) my husband had a heart scare, which turned out to be stress, and he had to spend four nights in the hospital. That first night I knew I had to go home to take care of the cat and couldn't feasibly spend the night, as we had gone to urgent care, only to be sent to the ER, so had no idea he would be bunking the night in the short stay wing. As I drove home that night, with tears in my eyes, this song came on the radio. As I listened to the lyrics, it really hit home, that my future was uncertain, but I had to keep moving forward. Later, during the summer in July, my husband injured his back and had to be carried out of the house by EMTs, spending another couple nights in the hospital. Once again, I came back to this song, which will always remind me of this past summer, and the moments that we had to dig deep and find strength together, growing as a couple during our first year of marriage.

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 6: A Song That Reminds You of a Best Friend

As I move forward with life, specifically married life, it seems like friends are few and far between. I have almost no friends left after I got married, which is what a lot of people say happens, but you don't believe it until you experience it yourself. I do have a few close friends left, and this song will always remind me of one of them. This is a song that we would usually play this song to get the party going at the start of a fun night. We would take turns pulling up music videos on youtube for people to listen to, and this one was very frequently heard. I also had never heard this song until she introduced it to me about three years ago. Just a fun song with a contagious hook and humor that only Eminem and "his band" can pull off.

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 5: A Song that is Often Stuck In Your Head

I constantly have music running through my head any given day, and it's often different music for different days. About six months ago I went to the movies and saw the movie The Greatest Showman, which was so good that I went and saw it again a couple months later. I later went to the library to borrow the cd and listened to it on repeat for several weeks. It hasn't been stuck in my head for a little while, but whenever I go back to it and listen it takes several days to get it out of my head. I also used to go dancing at the YMCA in New Hope where we had a routine to one of the songs, "This Is Me," which is the song I chose for this particular exercise, although the opening number is also one that gets stuck in my head just as much these days.

25 Songs, 25 Days - Day 4: A Song That Calms You Down

As a music therapist I believe in the healing power of music, the ability it has to calm, excite, or stimulate thought. I spend a lot of time thinking about different kinds of music that can help do each of these, while making sure that I am sticking to a person's personal preference. What might be calming for one person, might anger another person, or even drive another person crazy. For me, anything by Breaking Benjamin will almost always help calm me down. Usually it's a band that I will listen to when I've had a long day, something to destress, and eventually calm myself down. Since I am supposed to pick one song, though, I picked "Rain" because it definitely has that calming quality to it. It is one of their few acoustic songs, really highlighting the vocals so you can hear the emotion.