Day 207: 120 Hours

Today I went outside for the first time in five days and, even though it was cold, the air felt glorious on my face. My legs felt like jelly and I must have looked like a newborn deer trying to walk on account of how weak my body is. Today I was just grateful to be outside though, as small as that sounds.

I had jury duty last week, which I wasn't real thrilled about. I was supposed to go out of town Thursday evening or early Friday morning, which meant that, unless my case wrapped up within five days, it would cut my vacation significantly shorter. I got assigned to a criminal case on Monday, so I pretty much accepted this as a fact. Wednesday morning I woke up at 4:00 am in a chill. I realized I had left the window open so I shut it and pulled the covers up tighter. Half hour later I was shivering so bad my bed was shaking. I turned the heat back on, as I had turned it off the previous night (it gets hot here). I was still cold though, shivering like a wet dog. I went to the thermostat to see if it was working and it read over 80 degrees. I was still cold.

I knew I had a temp before I even got the thermometer. The next question was what to do about my jury duty. There was no number to call once you were on a case, so I had no choice. I drove to the park and ride and rode the light rail out to the government plaza. At this point I had a temp of 101, so knew I had to make my point quick. After very careful consideration, and a few questions, the judge let me go....back downstairs to the holding room. Luckily it was just to put me on call. I still had no idea what this could be.

As soon as I got home I had my mom take me to the doctor who pretty much diagnosed me was soon as I walked in: I had the flu. Strain A, we figured out once I took the rapid test. My temp when he took it was 102 and rising, so he prescribed Tamiflu. This stuff has made me so nauseous and so dizzy, I haven't been able to even drive the past five days, much less walk around my apartment. It did help it go away within the first couple days though. Those first couple days, though, I never want to have anything like that again. I felt like a baby. I couldn't hold my own head up so I had a water bottle resting next to me raised on the pillow that I would suck on whenever I wanted water. I was in and out of consciousness for 48 hours. I lost over 10 pounds in 72 hours. That second night I wasn't sure if it was going to get better soon, as my temperature that night was almost 104.

I don't know where I got this from, maybe the light rail, maybe a dirty handrail in the government center, but let my story serve as a warning: always wash your hands. I just took my last dose of Tamiflu, and I still can't stand up for more than five minutes without getting tired. I just hope work tomorrow goes well. 

Day 195: Not a good month for the gym...

Today is Fat Tuesday, boy does that describe how I have been feeling lately. I know I've said it before, but I am so sick of being overweight. I am making a conscious effort to lose weight (again). This month I counted up the money in my workout jar...$9. I only worked out nine times this month. Granted, I was sick for a lot of this month, but still it seems low. That's an average of twice a week. Hopefully I get my motivation back soon.

Anyways, for Lent this season I have decided to once again give up fast food, but also decided to really challenge myself with a couple other things. My friend laughed at me when I told her, but I have decided to also give up soda, shouldn't be too hard, and also give up negative thoughts/complaining. I feel like lately I have been a very negative person, always looking at the downside. I am going to try to go this whole Lenten season without having any outward negativity. I know it's natural to have a negative attitude about certain things, I'm just going to choose to not bellyache about them all the time.

I got my taxes back, going off of my previous post, and I will be eating at home a lot anyways, I can't afford to go out. I might even go back to what I did in college: eating only once a day. I'm really struggling these days to get started with things, not just my weight, and it's the courage to fly blindly and trust in God's plan that I am having the biggest problem with. If things are meant to be, then they will happen. But having the courage to follow through on that is even harder...more on that at a later date (maybe).